Ruby returns

Ruby moved back in with us 100% of the time, claimed independence with Centrelink and started a bit of a pick me up journey. She was definitely down in the dumps having lived with Amy for 10 or so months, seeing us once or twice during that time. She surprisingly JUST passed year 10. 

Yr 10 grad at Murrumbidgee School (that she didn't attend)

She worked cleaning the workshop for Damien initially, spends A LOT of time at her boyfriend Matt's house and worked out how its better not to lie to us... She's maturing slightly, though is still very self conscious, lost and unsure of life... She came back to us out of a dark hole, after "abuse or neglect" from her mum and after some drug and alcohol counseling seems to want to do better. I threw most of her clothes and empty make-up collection out that were dumped on us from Amy and got her to "start again". The centrelink money is gate kept by me and has helped set her up with fresh clothes, food and household items. She really had gone without essential items for so long just becoming a bit of a "trash bag" (her words). You could see her light coming back as we worked on getting her on track bit by bit, and her flight or fight response calmed down after a few months. We definitely were not gentle parenting her though putting curfews in place and a few hard truths. Although normal to be frustrated, she has taken it pretty well and I believe has realised rules are merely there for guidance and protection. She has experienced life when there are no rules and learnt its not actually that great or safe...

Working for Dad

Sixteen

After going over a lot of options she decided to do year 11 at Tafe as it is a slow progression to adulthood rather then the seriousness of getting a full time job or apprenticeship. She struggles with interpersonal relationships and couldn't fathom the idea of returning to school. It is very lonely at tafe as she is 1 of 3 students in Griffith who are in the course and the only one who actually attends the campus for class. She has wanted to drop out several times and wasted a lot of time on her phone, having no supervision, however the tafe seem to have stepped up and are giving her more attention by adding another teacher to guide her, which has helped motivate her. We got her a laptop to complete some at home out of tafe hours. Again another learning experience and step to independence. 

Ruby doesn't spend a lot of time with us, choosing to hang out with boyfriend Matt (17) and bestie Ashley (18), which is "normal" 16 year old stuff I guess. They both can drive so she has a lot of freedom through them, though there have been a few moments of trying to get away with stuff. Ruby very much struggles with not getting her way... Once she left her phone at a friends house so that we couldn't track her, while she went for a drive to Shepperton with Matt after we had said not to. Unfortunately for Ruby, Amanda happened to be there at the same time and dobbed her in... She seemed remorseful though not enough for us to trust anything she says... yet. 

Lisa's baby shower

We're all on eggshells, including Ruby. Our solution to allow her more independence and reduce the drama in our house was a caravan! A bedroom extension essentially and an asset for her to pay off slowly. She has to look after, it cook, clean and can escape to it without having to grow up so much by renting an actual house... It has taken a lot of time and money to get it up to scratch, including removing the oven and installing shelving, aircon, fridge, bed, airfryer etc. Mostly paid for by her centrelink income and birthday gifts. She has been paying it off with Centrelink and should own it by Christmas. She can then sell it when she moves out to pay for a car or bond etc. It's pretty revolting most of the time, however i've tried to set up a tub system for dirty clothes, dishes and rubbish. 

Getting it in the yard was tough

A few positives!!! She has successfully passed her L's and gone on a hairy drive with Damien. I really thought it was going to be harder to get her to get her L's however she seems to really want it and to be better then her mum by getting a license. She had a few shifts at Casablanca Fish and Chip shop however they just never called her back, I think it was a wake up call for Ruby. I spent a few days applying for all of the online major retail shops, she had an interview at Coles and Kmart. She took the Kmart one a lot more seriously after learning what interviews were all about and realising she really did want the job. She listened to me when I said ugg boots and track pants were not appropriate for an interview... She got the job! Though it has been a lot of work getting her ID checks in order etc 

Fingers crossed she can just settle into working, saving, enjoying some financial independence, learning to drive, completing Tafe, not doing drugs, enjoying her friends, and staying out of trouble... Hopefully she learns something before she's 18 and is thrown into the real world... meanwhile we haven't heard anything from Amy...